(WASHINGTON) CNN puts Bush up by five; Zogby has him up by three; Gallop by eight. What gives? Could clandestine manipulation by the junior Senator from New York have something to do with it? Sources inside the posh Capitol Hill offices of Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton say yes.

Phone records turned into Fit-To-Print News indicate frequent daily calls to all three polling organizations, in addition to Rasmussenreports, which also shows the President pulling away in his race against Massachusetts’s own junior Senator John Kerry.

Hillary said privately on Tuesday that the more Bush appears to lead Kerry in the polls, the lower traditional Democratic voter turnout will be. Critics have long argued that Hillary Clinton would prefer to see Kerry lose to make way for her own nomination in 2008, though she has flatly denied it.

“You can see it in her eyes,” our source reports. “She’s like a starved woman slavering over a Thanksgiving dinner. She can almost taste the presidency.”

A witness corroborated, adding, “If she had a mustache, she’d be twisting it like Simon Legree.”

Insiders also insist that a recent press release stating that Hillary’s post-op husband Bill is too fatigued to campaign for Kerry are greatly exaggerated. “I watched him absolutely cream Mary Beth Cahill in a squash match last Tuesday,” our source said. “His sweat had sweat, if you know what I mean.”